In 2008, I decided to change my life. I moved my family, left my friends, family, home, I closed my business and decided that London was the town for me.
And so here I am – in London that is.
When I got to London, I decided photography was not for me. I made an active choice to put my creativity in a box. And I haven’t taken pictures for over a year.
But over time the desire to take photos has tinkered around my head. Should I, shouldn’t I? I don’t believe at this moment, I could make a living on my creativity – read: photography, so my attitude until now has been why bother, I don’t need to take pictures.
But something else happened. Early in my journey in London, while I was separated from my family, I picked up a random book at Borders – EAT, PRAY, LOVE by Elizabeth Gilbert. And then recently I watched her recent talk at TED 2009, conference. And then I was given a cheap, plastic camera.
The point I am trying to make is clearly personal.
The anguish sometimes of being creative is too hard. I edit before I shoot, I think it won’t work before I have tried. I am trying so hard to be perfect but then… I have failed before I have even taken the camera out of the bag. The pressure is why I stopped (and moving life takes a lot out of you also).
But now I look at it another way.
Assuming you have watched the video, and get what I am referring to – as Gilbert suggests, we need to switch from artists being genius to a having a genius. When I think of it that way, my creativity makes much more sense.
Sometimes it is there, sometimes it is not. That is OK. When it is ready, when I am ready, it will come back.
That is why the toy camera is important. When I played with the camera, I felt a rush, I got that weird feeling that my creativity had returned. I have headspace, I have inspiration, I am seeing things in terms of light and storytelling. And I don’t care what the results are.
I still haven’t taken the ‘real’ camera out of the bag. I am still enjoying the simplicity and non-professional aspects of the lomo. But the real camera is calling and I know soon I will take it out. And I need to take as many photos as I can before she disappears again.
So to paraphase, Gilbert, and this is what I am saying to myself -
your genie is…
On loan to you
Pass it along
Move it forward
Tags: argentina, buenos aires, elizabeth gilbert, fashion, genius, home hotel, photoshoot, ted 2009
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